Trying really hard

Man has this week been trying. Finances are tight, my patience is running thin, and I can't seem to do anything right. I've been stressed non-stop for probably 4 days with so much going on. Funny thing, it's not the stress i'm as worried about. It's more the fact that I have been taking everything out on my dear husband. No wonder he doesn't want to be around me right?? Who would want to be around a crazy emotional disaster!? Trust me. Half the time I can't even stand myself. ha

So this upcoming week I'm gonna do better. I'm going to try really hard to be nice ( even when i'm on a mean streak). I'm going to try to get all my school stuff done throughout the week so that I don't have that added stress. Me and derek have been playing with the idea of me not going back to school right now. I know that it isn't meant to be easy, but when the house chores don't get done, dinner doesn't get done without derek doing it, the classwork piles up, and yet I still have to make time to work occasionally, or meet the needs of other people...that doesn't leave much time for us. I haven't decided yet, but i definitely know I can't do it like this next semester. It is draining me. You know those Zombie mom's?? yeah thats me. Getting less and less sleep everyday. Shower maybe every three+ days (if i'm lucky... gross i know). I need to take care of my family before I do my school work and it seems as if my wants get pushed back to the very very very bottom of the list. Which is fine...just wears me out pretty fast. haha

I can do it though. I need to get my priorities in check. I need to get rid of the cell phone obsession. I need to get rid of the books (after I finish hunger games though). I need to find ways to be productive with spencer helping me. To do things that as a stay at home mom and wife I need to do. I need to get my life in line. It's like i've been sleeping ( metaphorical not physically) all this time...And yet everyday I wake up thinking, i'll start tomorrow. because its a challenge. A never ending challenge.

Then again, isn't that what life is? Something that some of us have to work really hard to accomplish. The problems don't always go away. Sometimes we learn to deal with them. I think it's time for me to do just that. To kick myself into action. If I can make it through this semester, then how much easier will it be when I am done and have the summer to swim and spend time with my family? I just have to make it 5 more weeks. Thats how much time is left. Then from there it is uphill. :)

Now for a funny part of this blog,

Spencer has turned into the little rebel/troublemaker. I don't know why boys are born with the sense of getting their hands on everything, but we've been working on using the word no with spencer. This kid just doesn't get it. You can spank him, slap his hand, pull him away, scream at him(well sometimes that does work), haha but no matter what he goes right back to the object you are trying to keep him from. Today in the bath tub for example. We have a drain in the bathtub that doesn't have a plug. So we shove a washcloth in the hole and it works great. Well spencer thinks that washcloth is a toy, so naturally he tries to take it out, well we explain to him that if he takes it out then bath time is over and then if he plays with it or pulls on it, then I tell/yell "no" at him. well he looks at me with those beautiful eyes of his and smiles. Yeah right mister, thats not gonna make me forget your plan. Hahaha so he tries again, same thing. Well he finally caught on and started putting his washcloth on top of it and then pulling. As if to say, "But mom! I'm not playing with that one anymore. This is mine, see?? and smiles or giggles. This kid is too smart for his own good! Needless to say eventually he did pull it all the way out, and shucks, bath time was over. I love him, but this kid is exhausting with his tricky cuteness...Good thing i'm one smart momma. :)