The Hubs

It never occurred to me just how much husbands do for their families!

I mean I always knew they did a lot based off of what I saw in my dad, but I saw how many things my mom juggled and though, oh there is no comparison! Mom's do so much more...

Well I've come to reality and although moms do a lot, dads in general work harder.

The best way that I can describe it is that mom's have the emotional job of nurturing children, of being all the different kinds of occupations, making sure the pantries are stocked and that the bills are paid on time. Men on the other hand have a more strenuous job. At least my husband does at least...

I have hard days where I am tired and Spency won't stop crying and I have to constantly be entertaining...Its not fun some of the time. But as I see Derek head to school 5 days a week at 7 a.m. and then go straight to work till 7 p.m. I can't help but think how blessed I am to have a hard working husband who does what he can support me and baby boo. I know having a weekend off would be nice, but as long as he's working at Discount, its not going to happen. So while I have a 24/7 job. He has a 40 he week/6 days a week job and full time school. I am able to pass off the baby when I need a break. I can go places and enjoy my days whether good or bad! My husband is confined to his daily routine. I know that it will all be better once he finishes school though.

The reason I say this, isn't to complain. I know we aren't wealthy. I know that sometimes I feel like a single mom. But I also know that My husband is working his butt off for me. He's doing it because he loves me. I wouldn't ask for anything other than that. I love by best friend and husband. I'm glad i am married to him. ;)

Wishes

As I sit and think about how my life is going, I can't say that I am overly thrilled. Nothing has gone how I had planned school, work, my family, finances, my beliefs... I had this idea of how I wanted my life to go. I knew exactly what I wanted and had goals set. And then one day BAM everything changed. Needless to say, I wasn't ready. I wanted more time to adjust. But that isn't how God saw it. He made things happen how he thought they should go. So I went with it. I tried to be as happy as I could be. To make the best of it all. And now?? I'm here. I wouldn't trade my life for anything! I have the most handsome son anyone could ask for. I have the most wonderful husband who drops everything if I need his help. I have been blessed in our finances and even though we are still living more frugally than most, we still make it. We pay the bills every month. We have food on the table and through everything I am glad I had the faith to go where I didn't want to, to take risks I never thought I could. My life is full of emotions. Some good and some bad. But that is part of life! I need to be the best mother and wife that I can be. To raise some of the best children. ( hopefully)

Today I found some baby pictures of my family that explain some looks. Haha

Still moving in.

Well we are finally in our new place. It's been a week today! I love being here so much. I just wish that I could get all the boxes put away. hopefully by tomorrow they will be. After all the boxes are put away then I can start decorating. Thats the part that I am way super excited for. :) I'm going to have one cute house when I am done! :) My goal is to have it all clean by my birthday. So we'll see if by Monday it is all done. Now that i am starting to feel better i'm sure it will be easier to get up and do things. Between that and some work for Janet, it'll be fun.

Spencer is huge from where he started, but still so teeny... He's adorable and I love him so so much! I can't even remember what it was like without him. Derek loves coming home to him and his smiles too. It melts my heart to see them together. :)

Since being pregnant my body has gone through its own roller-coaster. I am officially lighter than I was in high school and keep losing weight that I don't have to lose... Some people may be jealous and think I should be grateful but honestly it's a curse right now...Seriously I am approx. 104 pounds. I feel like i look sickly but theres nothing I can do about it...Bummer. I am STARVING all the time. No matter how much I eat. an hour later it's like I never ate at all. Kinda Dumb because i don't have the time to eat all day with a little munchkin. I have been told its because I am breast feeding. Lovely.

My Psoriasis has also gotten like 40x worse than it was too. I am really embarassed about it because honestly who likes having arms and a scalp covered in white/red patches. Its NOT attractive. :( But that is how Heavenly Father made me and I can't do anything about it while I am Breast feeding, because the cream used to treat it has sterroids in it that can go to the bloodstream. So i'm stuck with it getting worse for a while. Or I can stop breast feeding. which would solve a lot of my problems. I know Spencer will take a bottle, because we've had to do formula for a little while right now while I'm sick. No one told me that Sudafed reduces your milk supply...hence my son eating and still being hungry. Yeah so this cold has been wonderful for me. I've been toying with the option of stopping...but i can't ever get myself to actually stop. So for now, I will continue doing both and see how it all goes. Being able to drink milk and eat Ice Cream again would be FANTASTIC though. :)

Now enough about that. I have been looking at some people's blogs and they seem so interesting!! I hope it doesn't make me a boring person because I can't come up with creative things like that. haha! then again, I'm a mom. I don't need an exciting life anymore. There is never a dull moment at my house. :)

Holding his head up high. He wants to be crawling so bad!!

This boy is so sweet!!!!!

One of my all time favorites. Priceless!!

From this moment

It's pretty sad when you start out writing, with Writer's block! man i have so many things to say and no way to put them into words. So many thoughts that I want to get out, but can't because they shouldn't be said...We get ready to move this week, because there's just about a week left. I haven't started packing or even thinking about it yet, because part of me is sad to go. My first home with my little family. All of my friends here at the complex. So many memories that I never want to forget. It's a bitter sweet I guess.

One thing that has hanging over my head the last day or so...I heard about a baby that died from SIDS recently. That makes me think about what would happen if any of my children would too. Knowing what I know now about the connection between child and mother, it breaks my heart to think that it is possible! I love Spencer dearly and never want anything to happen to him, but at the same time I don't want to hold him back from experiences in this life...It scares me how much i want to over protect him and keep him in a bubble, to know where he is and what he is doing...but I know thats not how he should grow up either. URK being a parent is hard!

On the up side. Spencer rolled over this past week!! the even better part is that I caught it on video. woohoo! He is finally sleeping through the night and chunking up plenty. I believe he's been going through a growth spurt the last couple days because he has been eating a ton. Me+Formula. and now that he has confused my milk supply it hasn't been making as much anymore, which hasn't been helpful for me. We will see what happens with that next. haha!

I hate being a grown up...the bills, the responsibilities, and the sacrifices. Sometimes all of it together is hard...especially the bills from having a baby...when will they ever stop?? ha\

My little boy is growing up.

Big Decisions...

Why is it that grown ups have to make so many decisions??? I feel like everything involving a baby is a huge deal because the decisions are all based on me. Not in a selfish way either. If i make the wrong choice then the consequence can affect me, baby or both me and him... I want to go shopping for my son and to get bottles, there's the choice 4 oz, 8 oz, the drop in kind, or the ones like breast feeding. For pacifiers, diapers, wipes, clothing, bouncers, everything involves decisions on me. And nothing is worse than buying something and having him allergic to it or him not like it. Because then it becomes a waste of money...And i NEVER want to waste money. Ha although sometimes i get in the mood where I just want to shop...i've learned to hold back though. Needs over wants for now.

As i sit here writing this though, I look over and see him smiling. not at me, at his favorite spot on the wall. He talks to that same spot, multiple times a day. It makes all the grumpy times he has (because he won't go to sleep) so worth it. The way he gets excited about what ever it is he's looking at. Lets just say ADORABLE! in the time its taken me to type this he's been doing it. Hopefully I can get a video on here soon of it. Its the best. He is growing up way too fast. I'm excited that he is, because he's been interacting a ton more with us which is fun, but I look back and even in two months, he's not the same baby anymore. He just keeps getting better and better. and more and more winey too. But thats okay. :)

I get to go have a girls night tonight and I am overly excited I think. I hope it turns out to be fun. Derek told Spencer this morning to enjoy the girl time. Since everyone will be a girl except him. lol! Ashley had girls, Shayna had a girl. and then there's him. When he's older he's going to love it though. Red Robin here I come...in a couple of hours. Sweeeet!

Home Sweet Home

Well we made it back to our house. There is luggage and bags everywhere in the living room. It's nice to be back for the cable, but I didn't miss quite a few things about it...

1. The dogs outside that bark. Ridiculously loud at late hours of the night. Music to my ears! not...ha
2. The air conditioning unit. Blows at zero degrees when it is on and then the room stays at 90 degrees when its off. So it's blanket on and off for me throughout the day.
3. The fact that me, being me...I worry about neighbors. if Spencer cries I try to hush him up fast because I don't want to be a bother to anyone. I shouldn't worry. I know that I shouldn't but i can't help it.
4. The empty fridge and pantry.
5. The half washing dishwasher.

And many many more...But I LOVE having my cable tv again. fantastic!

I thought that once you got married you lost all your friends. nope not for me. It wasn't until we had kids that all of us fell apart. Its really sad and i hope that once our little pumpkins are older, we'll be able to play more. I miss my friends sometimes. I look back to over a year ago and see how Drastically my life has changed. By saying this, I don't mean that my life stinks in any way. I actually love where I am at now and wouldn't change anything for the world...Its just sad that the friends you said "Best friend forever" with becomes more of a distant memory when you have kids and other responsibilities. Hopefully I can find that good balance to keep me sane. you know, the occasionally pedicure and shopping spree when I have the money. Yeah thats right...I am a girl and Love doing my girl things. :)

Frustrating

Why my blog is having so many problems I have no idea. Sorry for all the changes. lol Trying to figure out why my background keeps changing on me, without me doing it!!

End of today.

Spencer had on his muscle man shirt today. 11 weeks!!

I couldn't get him to fall asleep yesterday afternoon anyway other than this. He has his hand on the bottle and has three blankets on him. He looked so sweet! Sorry its not a very good picture!

Well we made it. Made it through another week and on to the next week. On our way to church today, Derek and I were talking about how many weeks we have left till we move and we discovered that this next Sunday will be our last week! CRAZY! That means when we go home monday from house sitting, we will only have 18 days till we are out of our apartment! I am so excited i can't even stand it!! I am not particularly looking forward to all the moving and boxes though but seriously it is worth it!

I can't wait for my parents to get home tomorrow. I know its sounds kiddish but I totally miss them. Me and Derek have been cleaning the house so its all nice for them to come home to and we are being naughty and leaving fun little things for my family to find. Hidden messages you could say. It will be bomb! We go home tomorrow and i think I may start packing. I know we'll still have a couple weeks but i am so excited I can't wait. I know that I keep bringing it up, but when you get to live next to your mom, it makes life a lot better! :) I better learn a lot from her while I can! And another plus, they have the seasons of Psych which along with Rootbeer is my new addiction. Such a great life I live. ha

I love my little boy. He is adorable and loving and I seriously am so blessed to have such a cute son. I have been thinking lately on how we want to raise him and its scary because any wrong move and it could have a serious consequence...So I need to figure as much of it out now as I can. I hope I can be a good mom for him. We've had a little bit of a rough start, but as he's growing up it has started getting easier and I have less moments where I am frustrated and have to put him down for a little bit. So I know that this stage of newborn-ness is slowly coming to an end. I am happy to see what he looks like as a little boy and what qualities and traits he picks up on. He is going to be a handsome boy.

Snowflake and everything else.

Such a happy little boy. I love him so much! :) I can't believe how big he is getting!!

Well we went to Snowflake yesterday! We had such a good time. Just a day trip definitely was not long enough...because I was exhausted!! being up for 24 hours was such an adventure, but if I'm going to have any sanity being a mom then I decided I need more sleep than that. haha Spencer got to enjoy his first rain fall and it was in the nice weather! I loved getting to spend time with the (almost) whole family. Grandma was so sweet to us and treated us like royalty as usual. lol We played our famous 3 to 13 since thats one of the only games I remember how to play! Then the slap happy set in and it was an event to remember. I'm not sure if I was even that funny, but I pretty much thought I was hilarious. :)

The ride home was long and dark, but we had some fun conversations that passed the time quickly!! It was a much needed trip just to get out of here for a little while. We love grandma and grandpa and hope that little Funk will feel the same way.

Now on to today, I slept in as long as I could, but Spencer doesn't seem to want to sleep. So I get to be up watching him cry and laugh and do all the other things that 11 Week olds (almost 12 weeks tomorrow) do. He is so sweet when he's happy. I honestly could watch him all day long. He just hit the stage where he gets so tired but wont let himself sleep. Its like he is trying not to miss anything. Its hard to think, last week with the Postpartum depression that hit, I didn't want to take care of him. I can't believe how scary it can be when you are willing to tell your child that you don't love him or have unkind thoughts towards him. But now I look at him since that has passed and realize that I never ever would want anything to happen to him. He is such a blessing to Derek and me. I am so glad to be the happy me again. Sorry derek for putting you through that. Husbands put up with a lot, but then again, so do wives. :)

Mothers are insane and I can now say that I have crossed over to that territory. haha I sit every morning talking to Lil funk and wait for him to smile and do cute things so I can catch it on camera. Yes, this means I get about a thousand pictures a day of the same exact things but I am so glad that I am doing it too. Because I get some dang cute pics to look at whenever I want. :)

I'm not so sure if a blog is a good idea, since I tend to be on the random side of things, so it may be hard to follow my thoughts but I actually enjoy blogging. I thought people were INSANE for keeping these things up to date, but its actually kind of fun and addicting!

Well off to be a mom again. hopefully I get some swimming in today or at least before the parents get in on monday. I love the pool!!

What a life!

Well I finally caved...I made a blog. I'm not sure why I did because I already don't have much time to do anything, but I figure i'll consider this my journal for the time being. Word to the wise, anything I say on here I mean to say. I'm not asking for anyone's opinions unless I ask for it. I want to be able to speak my mind and not be judged or anything. They are my feelings and opinions. Its what makes me, me.

This week we have been house sitting for my parents. It has made me realize how nice it will be to have our own house one day. Me and Derek have been talking and when we go back to our apartment, it no longer feels like home. (which i say is a good thing) I know that when we do go to buy a house we will know based off of our feelings which one is right for us. For the time being. I can't wait to move in behind my parents. It will be so much fun. I think it will be a great place for Spencer to grow up! Love it. Well seeing as it is very late at night I had better get to bed. We're going to SNOWFLAKE in the morning. I'm seriously so excited. To all those reading, my future posts will be way more exciting. lol

Seeing as it is monsoon season i find this quote appropriate, "Its not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."