Still moving in.

Well we are finally in our new place. It's been a week today! I love being here so much. I just wish that I could get all the boxes put away. hopefully by tomorrow they will be. After all the boxes are put away then I can start decorating. Thats the part that I am way super excited for. :) I'm going to have one cute house when I am done! :) My goal is to have it all clean by my birthday. So we'll see if by Monday it is all done. Now that i am starting to feel better i'm sure it will be easier to get up and do things. Between that and some work for Janet, it'll be fun.

Spencer is huge from where he started, but still so teeny... He's adorable and I love him so so much! I can't even remember what it was like without him. Derek loves coming home to him and his smiles too. It melts my heart to see them together. :)

Since being pregnant my body has gone through its own roller-coaster. I am officially lighter than I was in high school and keep losing weight that I don't have to lose... Some people may be jealous and think I should be grateful but honestly it's a curse right now...Seriously I am approx. 104 pounds. I feel like i look sickly but theres nothing I can do about it...Bummer. I am STARVING all the time. No matter how much I eat. an hour later it's like I never ate at all. Kinda Dumb because i don't have the time to eat all day with a little munchkin. I have been told its because I am breast feeding. Lovely.

My Psoriasis has also gotten like 40x worse than it was too. I am really embarassed about it because honestly who likes having arms and a scalp covered in white/red patches. Its NOT attractive. :( But that is how Heavenly Father made me and I can't do anything about it while I am Breast feeding, because the cream used to treat it has sterroids in it that can go to the bloodstream. So i'm stuck with it getting worse for a while. Or I can stop breast feeding. which would solve a lot of my problems. I know Spencer will take a bottle, because we've had to do formula for a little while right now while I'm sick. No one told me that Sudafed reduces your milk supply...hence my son eating and still being hungry. Yeah so this cold has been wonderful for me. I've been toying with the option of stopping...but i can't ever get myself to actually stop. So for now, I will continue doing both and see how it all goes. Being able to drink milk and eat Ice Cream again would be FANTASTIC though. :)

Now enough about that. I have been looking at some people's blogs and they seem so interesting!! I hope it doesn't make me a boring person because I can't come up with creative things like that. haha! then again, I'm a mom. I don't need an exciting life anymore. There is never a dull moment at my house. :)

Holding his head up high. He wants to be crawling so bad!!

This boy is so sweet!!!!!

One of my all time favorites. Priceless!!

From this moment

It's pretty sad when you start out writing, with Writer's block! man i have so many things to say and no way to put them into words. So many thoughts that I want to get out, but can't because they shouldn't be said...We get ready to move this week, because there's just about a week left. I haven't started packing or even thinking about it yet, because part of me is sad to go. My first home with my little family. All of my friends here at the complex. So many memories that I never want to forget. It's a bitter sweet I guess.

One thing that has hanging over my head the last day or so...I heard about a baby that died from SIDS recently. That makes me think about what would happen if any of my children would too. Knowing what I know now about the connection between child and mother, it breaks my heart to think that it is possible! I love Spencer dearly and never want anything to happen to him, but at the same time I don't want to hold him back from experiences in this life...It scares me how much i want to over protect him and keep him in a bubble, to know where he is and what he is doing...but I know thats not how he should grow up either. URK being a parent is hard!

On the up side. Spencer rolled over this past week!! the even better part is that I caught it on video. woohoo! He is finally sleeping through the night and chunking up plenty. I believe he's been going through a growth spurt the last couple days because he has been eating a ton. Me+Formula. and now that he has confused my milk supply it hasn't been making as much anymore, which hasn't been helpful for me. We will see what happens with that next. haha!

I hate being a grown up...the bills, the responsibilities, and the sacrifices. Sometimes all of it together is hard...especially the bills from having a baby...when will they ever stop?? ha\

My little boy is growing up.

Big Decisions...

Why is it that grown ups have to make so many decisions??? I feel like everything involving a baby is a huge deal because the decisions are all based on me. Not in a selfish way either. If i make the wrong choice then the consequence can affect me, baby or both me and him... I want to go shopping for my son and to get bottles, there's the choice 4 oz, 8 oz, the drop in kind, or the ones like breast feeding. For pacifiers, diapers, wipes, clothing, bouncers, everything involves decisions on me. And nothing is worse than buying something and having him allergic to it or him not like it. Because then it becomes a waste of money...And i NEVER want to waste money. Ha although sometimes i get in the mood where I just want to shop...i've learned to hold back though. Needs over wants for now.

As i sit here writing this though, I look over and see him smiling. not at me, at his favorite spot on the wall. He talks to that same spot, multiple times a day. It makes all the grumpy times he has (because he won't go to sleep) so worth it. The way he gets excited about what ever it is he's looking at. Lets just say ADORABLE! in the time its taken me to type this he's been doing it. Hopefully I can get a video on here soon of it. Its the best. He is growing up way too fast. I'm excited that he is, because he's been interacting a ton more with us which is fun, but I look back and even in two months, he's not the same baby anymore. He just keeps getting better and better. and more and more winey too. But thats okay. :)

I get to go have a girls night tonight and I am overly excited I think. I hope it turns out to be fun. Derek told Spencer this morning to enjoy the girl time. Since everyone will be a girl except him. lol! Ashley had girls, Shayna had a girl. and then there's him. When he's older he's going to love it though. Red Robin here I come...in a couple of hours. Sweeeet!

Home Sweet Home

Well we made it back to our house. There is luggage and bags everywhere in the living room. It's nice to be back for the cable, but I didn't miss quite a few things about it...

1. The dogs outside that bark. Ridiculously loud at late hours of the night. Music to my ears! not...ha
2. The air conditioning unit. Blows at zero degrees when it is on and then the room stays at 90 degrees when its off. So it's blanket on and off for me throughout the day.
3. The fact that me, being me...I worry about neighbors. if Spencer cries I try to hush him up fast because I don't want to be a bother to anyone. I shouldn't worry. I know that I shouldn't but i can't help it.
4. The empty fridge and pantry.
5. The half washing dishwasher.

And many many more...But I LOVE having my cable tv again. fantastic!

I thought that once you got married you lost all your friends. nope not for me. It wasn't until we had kids that all of us fell apart. Its really sad and i hope that once our little pumpkins are older, we'll be able to play more. I miss my friends sometimes. I look back to over a year ago and see how Drastically my life has changed. By saying this, I don't mean that my life stinks in any way. I actually love where I am at now and wouldn't change anything for the world...Its just sad that the friends you said "Best friend forever" with becomes more of a distant memory when you have kids and other responsibilities. Hopefully I can find that good balance to keep me sane. you know, the occasionally pedicure and shopping spree when I have the money. Yeah thats right...I am a girl and Love doing my girl things. :)