From this moment

It's pretty sad when you start out writing, with Writer's block! man i have so many things to say and no way to put them into words. So many thoughts that I want to get out, but can't because they shouldn't be said...We get ready to move this week, because there's just about a week left. I haven't started packing or even thinking about it yet, because part of me is sad to go. My first home with my little family. All of my friends here at the complex. So many memories that I never want to forget. It's a bitter sweet I guess.

One thing that has hanging over my head the last day or so...I heard about a baby that died from SIDS recently. That makes me think about what would happen if any of my children would too. Knowing what I know now about the connection between child and mother, it breaks my heart to think that it is possible! I love Spencer dearly and never want anything to happen to him, but at the same time I don't want to hold him back from experiences in this life...It scares me how much i want to over protect him and keep him in a bubble, to know where he is and what he is doing...but I know thats not how he should grow up either. URK being a parent is hard!

On the up side. Spencer rolled over this past week!! the even better part is that I caught it on video. woohoo! He is finally sleeping through the night and chunking up plenty. I believe he's been going through a growth spurt the last couple days because he has been eating a ton. Me+Formula. and now that he has confused my milk supply it hasn't been making as much anymore, which hasn't been helpful for me. We will see what happens with that next. haha!

I hate being a grown up...the bills, the responsibilities, and the sacrifices. Sometimes all of it together is hard...especially the bills from having a baby...when will they ever stop?? ha\

My little boy is growing up.