Who am I?

This question has been pressing on me a lot this week. As I have had the chance to watch other mothers, wives, friends, I have realized that I am in a circle. I haven't made up my mind on who I want to be. I haven't made up my mind on how I want to discipline, how I want to break up my day, how I want to spend my time. I am trapped in a never ending circle of repetition. I wake up, take care of spencer, play with him, play on my phone, put him for naps, sometimes eat, play some more, watch a show or movie, and feed spencer some more. I feel like this is what my days are like everyday. Having said this. It is time for a change.

Who do I want to be? Someone who is easy to talk to. Someone who always has a positive attitude! I want to be a wife that cooks and cleans, just because she knows that she will get too spend more time with her husband if she takes the time to do it while he is away. The wife that makes dinner and has a smile on her face when the hubbs comes home. I want to be the mother who is slow to anger, who sees others as more important than herself. One that is willing to make sacrifices without making a big deal about it. especially about sleep. I want to accept that I will never get enough sleep and try my best to deal with how much I do get without being too grumpy the next day. I want to be a mom that gives hugs and kisses randomly to her kids, even when she is having a hard day with them. Always giving, never taking. The mom that teaches her children about the gospel and is a constant example to them. I want to be the person who always has a smile on her face, who stops and looks around and realizes how great she has it every single day! I want to be a homemaker and a goal setter. I want to have a strong testimony of the gospel. So that I NEVER have a doubt in my mind. I want to be the daughter/daughter in law and sister/sister in law to my family that I would want them to be to me. To check in every once in a while to see how they're doing. To do lunch dates and hang out, just because I could. I want to make a difference in the world every day through the small things. I want to be good about reading scriptures and praying, even when it is inconvenient or late at night.

I feel like al of these are so out of reach and that it will take a while to get them down, but that is what I want to end up like. I know that it wont happen overnight too. Baby steps. Thank heavens for to-do lists right? Thats the only way I get anything done in a day. I decided that I am going to do something a little different than I have ever done. I am going to do a daily goal. I need to find a white board that I can write it down on. Something that will help me remember. I have a feeling it will go on facebook, on my phone, everywhere I look often. Hopefully this helps push me towards my ultimate goal. :)

Goal #1: Limit my time using technology. 2 hours watching tv. 30 minute on the computer. 1 hour phone(playing games, checking facebook, etc.)

-Reminder*** I are just starting this. It looks like not very much change, but compared to the 5 hours tv, 3 hours phone, and 2 hour computer, this is a drastic cut. Time to be the person I want to be.

Update on the babes. 8 months. Big boy too. he's wearing 12 month clothes! Little boy has one tooth with the second one coming in right now! its cute!!