Charlotte's Birth...not my favorite birth experience. (Some TMI)

Due to " high blood pressure" (we aren't sure that I ever really had it. Dang machines may have been off), we were scheduled to be induced at 2:30 a.m. on Aug. 28^th. They called at 11:00pm  the night before saying that our induction was put on hold so we decided to get some shut eye. Hoping to get in the next morning, I waited patiently. Derek not so much. He decided to call the hospital to see when we could get in, and they told him that we could come in, in one hour. So we got everything ready and headed over at around 8:45 a.m. At around 9:30 a.m. we finished paperwork and headed back to the room where they got me hooked up on IVs and monitors.

After monitoring for a few minutes, they decided to start with a small pill that would be inserted into my cervix (10:30 am). They warned that it could give me contractions with no progression, but that it would hopefully get things started. At the time I was dilated to 1. It took about 40 minutes to start working, but it definitely brought on contractions! After the first hour in bed, they sent me on a walk for an hour! We decided to use this time to narrow down our name choices. After we walked, they hooked me back up. My contractions were pretty close together (approx. 30 seconds apart). Since I was having so many contractions, they weren’t able to do another pill in my cervix, so we waited a little while longer to see if they would progress at all. By the time they came in and checked again I was all the way to 1.5 cm…So they asked me to do another 1 hour of walking to “see if the contractions would slow down”…that confused Derek and me, because walking is what they have you do to speed things up usually…Anyways we did the next walk and the contractions continued to speed up (contractions every 15-20 seconds) and get stronger in intensity, but weren’t doing much of anything. 

By this time it was around 3 pm. They monitored for another hour or so and then came and checked me again. I was all the way to a 2... ha awesome. So not only was I insanely uncomfortable from walking for two hours, but I was exhausted from not getting a break from my contractions going constantly with 15 seconds in between each one. These weren’t just beginning contractions either. Most of them were off the charts on the monitor. Why weren’t they doing anything?? So the nurse came back in and asked us to go on another hour walk. I wanted to cry. I mean, you run out of things to look at after a certain point.  So we got our stuff ready and walked to fill up my ice cup. Derek stopped to use the bathroom and while I was waiting for him (all 30 seconds) I felt a gush of liquid. Hopeful that my water had broken, I looked down and saw blood dripping onto the floor. Not sure what to do I stood there, and thankfully a nurse came out of one of the rooms by me just as it happened and I asked her what I should do, so she tracked down something to wrap around me. Derek came out of the restroom during all of this and I will never forget his face as he was trying to figure out what was going on. I waddled my way back to my room. I remember thinking SCORE I got out of that walk!!  My nurse decided to check me to see if there was any progress since bleeding can mean cervical change. She said no change in dilation but my cervix was softer now. And that it wasn’t my bag of water so no one was really sure where all that blood came from, but they were hopeful that things were moving along. I remember this being the second time that we asked when we could start Pitocin to get things moving along. They never really explained why, but just said "let's wait and see". So we waited a few more hours. By this point I was getting very uncomfortable and extremely tired. So the next time she came to check on me, I decided to ask to get my epidural so that I could get some rest, as it wasn’t looking like I was going to be having her anytime soon.

By the time that the epidural lady came in at 7 p.m. my contractions were every 10-15 seconds and I was finally dilated to a 4. I was very excited for relief. I was proud of the 8 hours I had done with almost no time in between contractions. Of course she had a hard time getting the epidural in because of my back muscles and positioning. It took her three pokes and me sitting in funny positions to finally get it in. Thankfully I was mostly numb from the shot during these. I was so glad to finally have some relief. Not thinking that now that I was confined to a bed, that they could start the Penicillin for the Group B strep. As she hooked it up to my IV, I remember thinking that it wasn’t as bad as I had read. And then it started going through my veins and I swear they were pouring gasoline into me. It burned insanely bad. So bad that the only relief that I had was to constantly twist and move my arm. So now I had relief from my contractions but I wasn’t able to get any rest from my IV. They kept telling me that I needed to fall asleep, but I literally couldn’t. So I at least rested my eyes while Derek slept. He was a trooper and walked the whole time with me and decided to stay with me instead of going home with the kids while I wasn’t progressing.

Anyways, we noticed on the monitor that my contractions had slowed down significantly from the epidural, so sometime in the night I remember asking again about Pitocin. I knew that as soon as it started my body would do its thing. I’ve used it with the other two kids so knew that my body responded well to it and was frustrated that it had taken this long for them to even start it. The nurse went and got a bag and hung it on my IV stand, but didn’t hook it up. She left for a couple hours and when she came back she still didn’t hook it up. They checked me for dilation once during the night and I don’t remember exactly what I was at, but I remember it being around a 6. I was grateful that I was progressing but didn’t like how slow it was. Right after she left, I got super nauseous and started barfing so they gave me a couple of doses of Zofran to help with that! I think around 4 a.m. they finally started me on Pitocin and like we had assumed it sped everything right up.

At 6:30 ish on Aug. 29th, I remember feeling like something had changed. Not sure if it was pressure or not because I was so numb, she checked me. I was right. I was at a 10, with my bag of water bulging but baby not being as low as they would like. Yay! I was so excited to be so close!! So I asked the nurse if we could get the doctor to break my water so that we could get baby to drop and, you know, have this baby! No joke, she said, “You can actually stay with the bag of water bulging for up to 4 hours” then left the room……….Derek and I just kept saying “are you kidding me???” thankfully it only took 4 minutes for my water to break on its own. That's the weirdest feeling ever! Just like with Kelsie, they put me on Oxygen because she started to be in distress with each contraction. The on call doctor came in soon after that and quickly got ready! We started pushing at about 7:24 and by 7:26 she was out! It took two pushes. I honestly thought we were practice pushing and she came out during those.  5 lb. 13 oz and 18 ¼ inches long!

I'm so glad that she is here, but man that isn't anything like I had imagined it going. I'm super excited that we share the same birthday and that she's such a fun baby. She's perfect. 

Life just happened, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Nothing like falling off the blogging world for a  little while. Here's the scoop. We had our baby girl! I guess its finally time I write about the birth and how AMAZING it all went! No worries. No gross details. :) So I had my membranes stripped twice. Twice this time. And nothing. It did absolutely nothing this time. Talk about a disappointment! So we tried everything we heard about to get Kelsie out. Tons of walking. Squats, I spent days on an exercise ball, pressure points, and "hubby time". Why was nothing working?? Of course it would be because she didn't want to be out yet. Which is fine, except I wasn't taking no for an answer. The morning of March 26th, the contractions started about every 10 minutes and stayed that way for about two hours and from there it only got closer and stronger! But strangely I was rocking the contractions! I used the hypnobirthing techniques and let me tell you it was bomb. Still not easy taking care of an almost two year old while having contractions every few minutes though, so my mom came over to help me. Around 1 p.m. they got to 1-2 minutes apart and they were pretty strong but honestly I was still talking and laughing through most of them. It was soooo odd. Totally different experience than with Spencer! But since they were so close, my mom told me I probably should call Derek to come home just in case. So I did and no joke he said, " Okay do I have time to finish a few things here at work??" So I let him and didn't tell him how close they were Until he got home at 2 p.m. and from there I told him I still didn't feel terrible but when I called my OB, she was already at the hospital so the front desk told me I should just go in and that they would make sure I was admitted. So we went and in triage, they checked me and sure enough I was dilated to a 6!! A 6 and still smiling and talking. It was great, but I made the decision to get the epidural and the main reason I did was because my MIL and 2 SILs would be in the room with me, so I thought it would be better than swearing profanities while they were there. ;) From there everything happened so fast! by 6:30 I was ready to push and within 5-10 minutes of pushing she was out!! So perfect and beautiful. I was in love. I'm so grateful for the better birthing experience this time. No episiotomy, No tearing, recovery was a breeze, and I was lifting and walking normal the next day! Now that I've had it both ways, I hope the rest stay easy. ha!! But really having Kels has been the best. She is an absolutely perfect baby. So happy all day and always so full of life! We have had our challenges with her, being in the hospital twice and it taking 6 months of waking up 5+ times a night to finally get her sleeping through the night, but I finally feel like we're at a good place! Sorry it has taken so long to write about her and how wonderful she is. Every day I thank God for her. She is my best friend. I laugh with her, I cry with her, She makes me better. I'm starting to feel like I'm finding the joy in being a mother. Sad to say it's taken this long, but I'm so glad I do get to enjoy it. I love my Spencer and Kelsie.

I'm back

After what feels like an eternity I am back! So much has happened recently! I know I am in the middle of my 30 day challenge about me, and I promise I will get back to it, but first I decided I need to write about my kids. I'm going to go back a few years an write down everything I can remember about spencer and his birth. (For the records, and so that when spencer or his future family asks questions, I'll be able to go back and have specific details instead of guessing and getting all my kid's info mixed up. So here goes: it was early Saturday morning and we were nervous and excited! At 10 a.m. I knew I would be getting my membranes stripped per my request to my doctor! Everyone had told me it would hurt but I had no idea how bad. I guess that was a good thing. Immediately following that I started having contractions since I was dilated to a three when Dr. Holmes stripped them! They were happening every 1-3 minutes the whole time. As a first time mom the contractions were unbearable! I couldn't handle each one, and was scared and unsure at what point to go to the hospital since my contractions were so close together! So we waited. I tried to get my mind off of things, and as much as I thought I was dying, they ALWAYS got worse! I was definitely as prepared as I should have been for real labor! So at about 1 or 2 p.m. I sat there crying so Derek called the doctor and he told me to go ahead to the hospital if they were that bad. So off we went! That was the absolute worst car ride of my life!! Every bump I wanted to hit Derek in the face! But I didn't. ;) so we get to the hospital and they send me to triage where they hooked me up to all the crazy machines they monitored me for about an hour since I was only at a three and a half in dilation!! Seriously?! All that pain and I only got a measly half centimeter! So after they realized I wasn't progressing they sent me on the dreaded walk around the hospital for an hour. So boring and tedious, but they made the contractions stronger so it had to be doing something!

We then get back to the bed and hooked up to more machines and they come in to check me and bam, no progress. So they tell me that although I'm in labor it's not progressing fast enough, so they send me home. How do you have a bawling pregnant mom that is having contractions every two minutes and have the nerve to send them home! So we do as they say and go home. I go home and take a bath and try to eat a granola bar and after three hours of that I knew they were getting stronger and I could barely breathe or talk through my contractions. So we decided to take the risk and go back in. So now it's 7 p.m. And they hook up the monitors again and come in and check me, to find I'm finally at a 4.5 dilation! Wow a whole centimeter, but I was considered in active labor so they admitted me! When they came asking if I wanted an epidural, after all I had been through that day I decided I needed a rest. So I did it. Definitely wasn't as bad as everyone described. And the relief was AMAZING! I was able to sleep and not feel a thing! Only thing was, I still wasn't progressing. Not that I cared anymore since I was numb. About two hours after being admitted, dr Holmes came in and broke my water, which was the weirdest feeling ever. So much pressure relieved and so much liquid. But he said that it would be about six hours till we have our sweet boy there. So we wait and wait. The nurse comes in and tells me I'm still just not progressing much so they get the okay to start me on pitocin and tell me that this is normal since I'm a first time mom. By this point it's 10:30 p.m. And I am exhausted so they tell me to get some sleep! (Not sure how its possible when they check on you every 30 minutes) but I did fall asleep and the pitocin started working so I started dilating pretty quick. About 12:30 the dr come in to check me and I'm at a nine so we knew it would be pretty soon! Still I went back to sleep! And at 1 a.m. They came in and checked and I was fully dialated and ready to push since the head was "right there." So they called the dr and about 20 minutes he was there and I pushed for about 25 minutes (mainly because I was puking in the middle of it) and then there he was! Born at 1:45 a.m. In all his glory, my little boy was here. I was in a daze. Exhausted from the labor and not really sure what had just happened, I just tried to soak it all in. This wrinkly 6 lb. 3 oz boy was my new life. 20 inches long and just a beautiful baby boy. I had no idea just what he would put me through in life, but I knew he was mine and that's all that mattered!

And now flash forward, this little guy will be two in 3 days! 3days!? It has been the fastest, slowest two years of my life. But we'll talk more about him in a couple of days.

Can't believe how far my family has come!

Dream job

So sorry for taking so long to do the next post! Life keeps getting in the way if you know what I mean! Proud to say we are finally almost done unpacking! It's taken a long time, but just a couple more boxes to go through and some pictures to hang! Just in time for baby girl to arrive. Which just a heads up, could be within the next two weeks! Sounds crazy right?? Yeah I'm in shock over it!!

Okay well today's post is about my dream job. If you were to ask me what my dream job was 4 or 5 years ago, I would say hands down a receptionist at a health place like physical therapy or a dr office. But after doing that for over a year, I realized actually doing the physical therapy was much more fun than all the paperwork... But that isn't the same dream that I have now after becoming a mom, of almost two kids! Crazy. So I decided that I would love to be able to have basically any job that would allow me to be home all day with my loves. What I really want is a computer job that I never would have to do phone calls with. One that was flexible, but still good paying. I don't do well with having lots of papers all over and with kids it's hard to do too much more, but I know that my duty and what I want to be doing is raising and nurturing my kids first, with making money part time on the side! I just know that I would love to help Derek not have to stress about finances so much, with him starting asu in a few months. But even if I never find anything like that, I know that I am able to live my ultimate dream job of being the person my kids call mom. Nothing beats that... Now if only my almost two year old would actually say "mom" things would be different. Lol One day he'll decide he wants to talk. Haha!

Up next: what are 5 passions I have. This one may be a toughy! Ha

My 3 wishes.

Yeah bear with me, been a busy week and havent had any time to keep up on my computer stuff! so excited for when it finally gets organized again! Wouldn't it be great if we really did have a genie that would grant us any three wishes that we wanted?? Well my 3 wishes would be something along these lines...

My first wish: that Derek would find a job that he loved and that paid really good. I don't want to be super wealthy. I don't think wishing for a billion dollars is the way to go either. I am a strong believer in working for what we want, which is why I would want him to have a Great job. Full time, sick days, vacation days, paternity leave, reasonable hours, salaried job. Ha one day I hope that happens for us. :) I don't think that's too extreme of a wish!

My second wish: for people to be more respectful to each other! Seems like so much of the world now a days is lazy, unhappy, and they seem to take their frustrations out on each other. I really think if we all took the time to smile more and be less selfish, trips to the grocery store would be more bearable, standing in line at the bank wouldn't be such a hastle, there would be far less bullying and kids would learn these traits and continue to pass them on. It all starts with us parents. What kind of kids do you want to raise?

My third wish: houses cleaned themselves. I know that wouldn't teach us anything but I know I would find much more time to spend with my family if the chores didnt stack up! This wish probably is being influenced by the fact that I have boxes in every room that need unpacking and cleaning that needs to happen too, but I am sure that if my house cleaned itself after spencer made the mess, my energy level would be way higher! One can hope at least! ;)

Next post: what is my dream job? And why!

If you're happy and you know it...

So I decided not to do the typical 5 things. It's pretty obvious, that my family makes me happy, having a testimony makes me happy, sugar makes me happy, sleep makes me happy...lots of things make me happy. So here are the five less talked about topics that truly do make me happy!

5 things that make me happiest:

5. Surprises. Who doesn't love a surprise. I'm not very good at reacting well to them, and sometimes they even freak me out, but if its a good surprise then it's a good story at least of me looking dumb, especially in front of a bunch of people. The best surprises are the ones I don't know anything about. Poor Derek has a hard time surprising me. For some reason I tend to figure some parts out or completely ruin the surprise! Lol

4. When things go my way. I have found the past couple of years that being in control makes my life so much more smooth, resulting in better days! Having kids I don't get to be in control too much, since you can't plan every little detail out. Something unexpected always comes up with kids. But when things do go how I want it makes me super happy. Like finishing a craft! When it turns out how you invisioned it or even better, that's the best! Satisfaction of knowing you did that.

3. Going on vacation. Going out of town is so much fun! To the beach, to the woods, just to a hotel in town... You name it i love it! Can't wait till Derek gets out of school so that we can do some traveling again! :)

2. Getting new clothes! And not like hand me downs or anything like that. I'm talking shopping and finding an outfit that fits perfect and looks great too! What's even better than that is finding it on sale! Every shoppers dream right?!

1. This last one may be kind of silly, but getting out of debt! When I pay off a credit card I am the happiest girl ever! Knowing that I am one step closer to living more comfortably, it's such a great feeling!! I can't wait until we are debt free. I guess we'll have a short period of time with no debt before the student loans start for Derek! Baby steps!!

Next entry: if I were given any three wishes, what would I wish for?

Just a little side note: spencer finally said thank you today. Not very clear but I was excited to hear something other than uh-oh and ow and nuh-uh. This is a big deal coming from the kid who I'm pretty sure has no desire to talk and would rather go around throwing tantrums hoping I'll catch on to what he is trying to communicate. Love that little boy, even if all I do is hear stories about how good kids his age are already talking! We love any improvements! This kid has so much personality it's nuts! Can't wait to see how baby girl will be! Also can't believe we move in one week from tomorrow and she could be here within 6 weeks! Talk about crazy. :) so so excited! She was cuter than ever in the ultrasound I had today! My favorite part was seeing her little lips move. Pretty sure she was blowing me kisses for valentine's day, even though the nurse said she was just practicing sucking. Lol So happy!

To my younger self.

Let's see, today is about what I would tell my 16 year old self, if I could. What better way then a list of 10 things?

1. Don't be so focused on yourself. It doesn't matter what you look like every day. Take some of the time and energy you put into making yourself look good, and go out and make someone else feel good. It will make your days better and also change the lives of others!
2. Smile more. Come on, you are 16... What do you have to worry about? Figure out what is most important to you in your life and make sure they make you happy. No point in going through life unhappy and negative all the time.
3. School will only get harder. Don't look for the easy way out of things, it won't teach you anything and you will end up slowing yourself down later on. Push on and learn as much as you can. One day you won't be in school anymore, but your intellect will always be something up have.
4. It's not about how many dates you go on. So what if your friends are getting asked on dates all the time. Your time will come. And if waiting is too hard, go and do something about it, go ask boys out, make a fun time, instead of just sitting and moping about what you could be doing. It will only make you think something is wrong with you and kill yor self esteem anyways! Go out and have a good time.
5. Be a better role model to your young women girls. So many of these little beehives look up to you, and many of them will shape their lives based off of what they see you doing. Never ditch church, never give a teacher attitude, and don't allow yourself to be in places that the spirit can't be. After all, these girls really look up to you.
6. It's great to have best friends, but make time for your family too. Don't be upset and mom and dad when they set rules or tell you that you need to stay with the family tonight. It's okay to be sad, but be understanding and respectful in that they know what they are doing. One day you will understand why they set the rules they did. You will be grateful for them!
7. Take the extra time and energy into making sure you believe in something. Your whole life you have been raised in the church, but it's up to you, to Know if you believe in it. No one can make you have an opinion or belief in something. It will help you out later if you can strengthen the testimony that you have now. Even though you may think it's small, you believe so much of the church you just have to decide for yourself that you want it in your life.
8. Exercise. Not just to be healthy. It is a habit that will be way harder to get into when you have kids. Get in the habit now of taking care of your body and I promise you will feel better mentally and physically.
9. Keep your room clean always. It's so easy to be messy and with so much stuff it is hard to find a place for it all the time, but you won't have an excuse when you get your own house one day. Your husband won't appreciate the mess and your life will feel more cluttered than it needs to. It doesn't have to be spotless, but don't just fling laundry and your school work everywhere. Organize your life!
10. Last but not least, you are going to be sad. You are going to feel alone and that "no one likes you". NONE of that is true. You have friends that do care. You have family that loves you more than anything. And most importantly, you have a Heavenly Father who is just trying to teach you a lesson. Get down on your knees as often as you can, but especially when you feel like no one is there. Life is hard. It's not meant to be easy. Everyone has hard times, and we are all learning how to deal with the things that are thrown our way. You don't have to wait till you are home to pray. You can pray in your car, pray in your heart. You aren't alone in life ever. Sometimes you need to try extra hard to get an answer to prayers and even when you feel like your prayers haven't been answered, keep trying. Sometimes the answer is no, but those times I'm convinced that Heavenly Father sends a sense of comfort to help when the answer isn't what we want to hear. Stay strong, you have so much to look forward to in your life. You are an amazing young woman.

Love,
Alana

Tomorrow: 5 things that make me happy.